Mercy….The Women Told All

March 9, 2011-

By Lauren

The Top Nine (yes, it was so boring I couldn’t even get to Ten) thoughts that went through my head during “The Women Tell All” were as follows…. 

9- Is “Stacy The Bartender” from The Bachelor actually “Stacy the Bartender” of The Hills in witness protection?

8- The outfits were disappointing. I was looking forward to some good fashion! You’d think they’d want to give Brad the good old “See what you’re missing?!” But no….Melissa the Waitress in her gauze-like cardigan! Yikes!

7-Michelle Money needs her own reality show. The girl lives in Utah and has a stylist…Either she’s gunning for a spot on “Sister Wives” (aka RH of SLC) or she’s needs an agent. However, I can imagine being attacked liked by all those women would make one emotional, even if she did say a few not-so-nice things. I still think she’s funny.

6-Melissa the Waitress vs Raichel the Manscaper. Outcome – Who cares! Talk about to crazy psychos who I hadn’t thought about since they left the show! Once again ladies, cat fighting is not attractive to men, unless it involves jello and bikini’s!

5-The Bachelor reunion looked insane! I hope they did STD testing at the door. And Vienna needs to get her weave back like Stella Got Her Groove Back, because without it, I instantly noticed that she bears a strong resemblance to the cross-eyed possum that made it big on the Today’s show…And yes, I know I’m going to hell for that one. This season needs to end, I’m getting as catty as the contestants! 

4- When did Ms. Jackie, quiet artist from NYC, turn into a Jerry Springer guest? At first I wondered how someone that mild mannered was surviving the mean streets of NYC, but after she ripped into Michelle I’m thinking she may drive a cab in Manhattan in her spare time.

3- Ashley S. depresses me! Poor girl! She was crying about crying on the show. She seems very sweet, and I am sure she will “Make a great wife for someone one day”, but hopefully she is not the next Bachelorette. The whole country will need a dose of Prozac to make it through the evening!

2-Ashley H. is the next Bachelorette, or at least she is aggressively gunning for it, with the new “mature” make-over. Supposedly the lucky lady hasn’t been chosen yet, but she’s campaigning like crazy if that’s the case. Please save us if she accomplishes her mission….I could barely handle Ali, and this seems like a fate much worse.

1- Emily has GOT to be the winner. With the amount of times Brad uttered his new catch-phrase “Mercy” he is either currently dating her or, Uncle Jessie from Full House. I can totally hear the Southern Belle exclaiming “Lord Have Mercy” and Brad’s mind absorbing it like a sponge…

See you next week! On a side note, I’ll be in LA “researching for the blog” so I may be a bit absent over the next week. Stay tuned and stay Blonde!!!!

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2 comments

Comments

  1. Jen says

    BAH! RH of SLC and crossed eyed possums…classic!

    Enjoy your business trip! Your fans can’t wait for your newly researched material! 🙂

  2. arlene fraser says

    MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY DIDN’T FINSIH WATCHING THE SHOW PUT ME TO SLEEP. GREAT ARTICLE. HAVE FUN

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