Original Post 1.29.2010

In the spirit of criticizing the famous like I have my life together, I will move on to Heidi Montag. Her recent 10 procedure plastic surgery left me in shock…much like the look left permanently on her face. Maybe this is because I am a Midwestern raised, corn fed, country bumpkin from Detroit (22 Mile what???), and not LA or South Beach, who knows. But, as a disclaimer, I’m not a plastic surgery hater. If I wasn’t so afraid of pain I’d totally hop under the knife, however I shake at the thought having blood drawn, which hardly makes me an ideal candidate*. I even think Heidi’s first round of plastic surgery (below) was for the better, she looked totally hot, but I am totally into that fake Barbie Doll look so I am a bit partial. I thought she looked like a princess at her wedding and she rocked the covers of many magazines, so why more?


Before                     After

Heidi had 10 procedures and was under the knife for over 10 hours. She mentioned to ABC that she was literally crying when it was all over, like she had been in a car accident and she “wanted to die”.

” ‘Yeah, I had my legs liposuctioned on the inside and the outside,’ ” Montag said. ” ‘But it wasn’t really to take out the fat. It was more just to contour the legs. And then I had my back– scooped out a little bit to help give a curvier look and then a little bit on the sides, too.’ ” I don’t even think us Midwesterners knew that such procedures existed.

In addition, Heidi had her breast implants made bigger, a brow lift, botox in her forehead, a revision to her nose job, fat injections in her cheeks, a chin reduction, neck liposuction and had her ears pinned back. All of this after you are already hot enough to be on the cover of Playboy? RED FLAG.

But for what? The look has added about ten years to her age. Hopefully once the botox goes down she will look more like the before pic than the after.

Before     After

I LOVE that on ABC news, when asked what type of message she thought she was giving to young fans, Montag said ” ‘Well, my main message is that beauty is really within.’ ” I knew she wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer based on her choice of husband, but I LOVE that!

She is obviously addicted to plastic surgery, and I feel bad for the girl. She is 23 years old and I hope someone saves her from ending up like Michael Jackson. I am sure the producers of “The Hills” were driving her to the appointment and pushing her through the door. It might make for a good episode, but not for a happy ending.

*Do not hold these statements against me as I age and I show up to meet you for lunch with a botox induced deer in the headlights look, huge boobs and a martini.