Louboutin’s and Love

February 23, 2011-

By Lauren

Original Post 1.25.2011

I am beginning to think I love this show so much because the women make me seem abnormally…normal. I am contemplating devising a complex DVR filing system to keep all of their psychotic episodes in order by character to simply turn on the next time my husband implies that I MAY be crazy. Argument won! Yes ladies, keep crying to a man you’ve known for a week and faking injuries…That way he can prepare for finding your mascara streaked face sobbing over your oatmeal every morning for the rest of his life. Or in Michelle’s case, his favorite pet boiling in a pot.

First, I HAVE a serious issue to address. An issue of morality, if you will. Based on today’s dates with Michelle and Chantel O, I deduced that the producers MUST be asking the ladies their worst fear during the application process and then basing dates on them. Chantel O was terrified to be sent 20,000 leagues under the sea (cold water on a first date? Soooo rooomantic….) and Michelle was extremely scared to scale down a skyscraper (I would have drawn the line at that one). At first I thought this was an intellegent ploy to promote onscreen dramatics, but as I saw the preview for next week and I had serious thoughts of boycotting! It looks like they REALLY took my girl Emily, who’s deceased fiance was a racetrack driver, on a racetrack date–And it looks like Brad was in the dark (shocker!). I realize they need good TV, but that is just cruel. If I was her I would be off the show.

Did anyone else notice that Michelle  and Brad’s helicopter/skyscraper scaling date was very reminiscent of Jake and Vienna’s helicopter/bungee-ing date? Red Flag.

One major thing the group date showed us is that Dr.Drew is SUCH a fame whore! Of COURSE he shows up on the Bachelor! Someone needs to cure his fame addiction, it’s out of control.

It also showed that dentists may, in fact, swipe “happy gas” from recreational use. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. I’d love to believe that was the red wine talking at the “after-party” for the group date. I loved watching her trudging up to Brad kissing another woman, red wine coming dangerously close to sloshing out of her glass. The red stuff makes me crazy too, which is why I would never be seen sipping it on live TV. It cost you the rose girlfriend! Stick to white, its saved me some embarassment!

PS- Note to Bravo!: Get Michelle’s salon on Tabitha’s Salon Takeover. Sit back and watch Real Housewives style throwdowns, complete with some legit black eyes-guaranteed!

On a rare complimentary note….Hey Emily – Just wanted to let you know I noticed the red soles on those blingy heals you were rockin’ on the romantic mini date Brad swept you away on. Love the Loubs (check out the pricetag)! What is this? Millionaire Matchmaker? You go girl, you’ll end up on Real Housewives when you do get married! Love ya!

Eliminations this week were not a surprise and included a girl I don’t think I’ve ever seen, a first grade teacher crying and making her father proud and an interesting style of running…or seisuring? Not sure.

Stay tuned for next week when they try to push Emily over the edge and the crowd goes to…Vegas??? Great idea! Take a bunch of single people to Vegas to find love. I know PLENTY of people who have found “love” in Vegas! See you in Sin City!

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