The Bachelor Meets Rock of Love Bus

February 23, 2011-

By Lauren



Original Post 3.3.2010

Is it me, or did the outcome of this season of The Bachelor too closely resemble the outcome of a season of “Rock of Love: Bus”? Why did Jake spend months going through his “journey” as The Bachelor when he could have just headed over to the local Hooters for a 20 piece of extra spicy wings (Chicken wings, NOT the Wings of Love that is) and got the same outcome? We all knew how it was going to end, but I think all of us were hoping that this was the one rumor that was not true. However, Jake followed the Little Jake in his pants, picking Vienna the Vixen and not Too Good to be True Tenley.

The episode started by the Bachelorettes meeting Jake’s family. I almost died when Jake’s dad started balling during their sit down with Tenley. Now we know where Jake gets it from! I was waiting for his brothers to all join in on the cryfest. I like a man who isn’t stone cold, but save it for the wedding day! And then Vienna’s meeting was one of the most awkward things I have ever seen. I know that it is super hard and intimidating going in and meeting the big family of your potential mate, but better to sit quietly then bring negative attention to yourself. I thought her job title was “Marketing Representative” (aka the girl with the Marlboro Light survey and free lighters at your local watering hole) before she came on the show, but she sure doesn’t know much about marketing herself. I know they ended up thinking she was okay (does anyone else wonder HOW???), but I think now that they’ve seen the tabloid headlines about Miss Vienna they may be back to their original opinions.

Then they went on their final (well, final for Tenley) date. While Vienna and Jake smeared mud all over one another, Jake and Tenley took a boat ride. You knew it was over for Tenley when Jake questioned their physical chemistry. I feel like after those words escape his mouth, I ALMOST saw her snap out of her sing song Snow White ways. There was a little bit of a crazy look in her eye! And Jake, what is the difference between sexual chemistry and physical chemistry? Do tell! Bottom line, he was getting busy with Vienna and Tenley was taking it slow, what a man with “values” like Jake should want. To end the night on both dates, he ended up in bed with both ladies (separately of course, he DOES have values).

Side note – I found it quite curious and creepy that Vienna’s father had given her a ring that symbolized her promise to him to not get engaged, for a THIRD time, unless it was meant to be. She was essentially engaged to her dad until Jake popped the big question. I don’t know that laws in Florida, but here in the North we don’t do that!

I must say, I teared up when Jake had his break up with Tenley (don’t hold it against me, it may be post pregnancy hormones). She drove me a bit crazy, but I really felt for her. She handled the break up with class, and will be able to look back and Jake and Vienna after they break up, and laugh.

And then, he proposed to his princess. Although I have stood up for Jake, he is obviously emotionally immature, picking the girl he had the most “heat” with as opposed to the nice girl, who he had the emotional connection with. Having a steamy relationship is awesome, but in a few years when Vienna’s tramp stamp has stretched and faded, and the video cameras are gone, what is left ( just ask my husband…I kid, I kid )? Not a lot…Jake commented that his relationship with Vienna was different from his past relationships, because he said his previous relationships had been intense in the beginning and then after about a year things fizzled. How does he think this is going to be different? Jake was obviously a dork as a child and is now looking for the cool girl to take him on a wild ride. Also, his mom seemed like a bit of a cold, blunt lady, so maybe he went for someone a bit like his mommy as well.

With that, the journey came to an end for the future ex wife of Brett Michaels and a pilot, overlooking the ocean.

After the Final Rose was somewhat of a treat. First, does anyone know what the deal with Vienna’s face was? SOMETHING was different? Nose job? I wonder if Jake paid for it like her Ex Boyfriend apparently paid for her boobs. Also, I love when Chris Harrison began to talk about the tabloids bagging on Vienna and she jokingly mentioned that she had a boyfriend that was so secret that “she didn’t even know about it”. No one laughed because she probably does actually have a secret boyfriend (Brett Michaels) ….awkward!

And, of course, Ali is our next Bachelorette. Did she quit her ever so important job or what? My FB apps better not get screwed up while she is gone! I STILL do not get why she has so many fans. Do people not see that evil little streak she has to her? I would rather not watch her next season, but it’s I’m like an addict, so I don’t know as I will have full control of myself and the viewing choices I make when it comes to the Bachelor/Bachelorette.

AND then Jeffrey Osbourne came out to serenade the couple with “On the Wings of Love”. How happy will we be to not be humming that to ourselves every Tuesday morning.

Just when we thought we would be left high and dry next Monday, we will have our appetites satisfied by the Jason and Melissa nuptials and then tuning in to see Jake on Dancing With The Stars. Cheers to you ABC. Judging from his dance moves in the Bahamas, we may only see him for a week, but great marketing effort!

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